When the past won't let you rest
Trauma therapy in Toronto using somatic experiencing to help your nervous system complete what's unfinished
What unresolved trauma feels like
The past keeps showing up in the present. Something happens a sound, a smell, a tone of voice and suddenly you're flooded. Your heart races. You feel small, trapped, or like you need to run. The reaction seems out of proportion to what's actually happening, but your body doesn't care. It remembers.
Maybe you have flashbacks or intrusive memories that arrive uninvited. Or maybe the trauma is more diffuse a chronic sense of unsafety, hypervigilance, difficulty trust ing, feeling frozen or numb. You might not even connect it to specific events. It's just how you've always felt.
Sleep is disrupted. Nightmares, or waking suddenly in a state of alert. Your nervous system won't settle. Even in moments that should feel safe, part of you is scanning for danger, braced for impact.
Relationships are hard. Intimacy feels threatening. You push people away or cling too tightly. You're either overwhelmed by emotion or completely shut down. The middle ground connection without panic seems unreachable.
You might blame yourself. Why can't I just get over it? Why am I still affected by something that happened so long ago? The shame of trauma can be as disabling as the trauma itself.
Trauma isn't about what happened to you it's about what got stuck inside you. And with the right support, it can be processed, integrated, and released.
What trauma is
Trauma happens when an experience overwhelms your capacity to process it in the moment. Your nervous system mobilizes to respond fight, flight, or freeze but the response doesn't complete. The energy gets trapped, and your body continues to live as if the threat is still present.
This can result from single incidents accidents, assault, sudden loss or from chronic, ongoing experiences like childhood neglect, emotional abuse, or growing up in unsafe environments. Developmental trauma, in particular, shapes how your nervous system learns to respond to the world.
From a somatic experiencing perspective, trauma lives in the body. Your conscious mind might have "moved on," but your nervous system hasn't. It's still holding the defensive responses that were necessary then but are now causing harm.
Trauma isn't about being weak or broken. It's about your system doing exactly what it was designed to do protect you but getting stuck in that protective mode. Healing happens when we help your nervous system complete the thwarted responses and return to a state of regulation and safety.
How we work with trauma together
Somatic experiencing and nervous system work
This is the core of trauma therapy. We work slowly and carefully with your body's sensations, tracking activation, and helping your nervous system discharge the trapped energy. We don't re-traumatize by flooding you with the story we work at the edge of what you can tolerate, building capacity gradually.
Building safety first
Before we go near traumatic material, we establish safety in the therapeutic relationship and in your nervous system. We build resources internal and external anchors that help you feel grounded. This isn't bypassing the trauma; it's creating the conditions needed to actually work with it.
Titrating and pacing
We work in small doses. A little activation, then back to regulation. This "pendulation" teaches your nervous system that it can touch difficult material and return to safety. Over time, your window of tolerance expands.
Understanding narrative and meaning
While the body holds the trauma, the mind also needs help making sense of it. We explore how your trauma has shaped your beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. We work to separate what happened from who you are. We reclaim agency and author new narratives.
What might gradually change
The first changes are often subtle. You notice your body feels a little less tense. The hypervigilance eases slightly. You sleep better, or at least differently. Small moments of feeling safe become possible.
Over time, triggers lose some of their power. You still notice them, but they don't completely hijack you. You develop the capacity to pause, to ground yourself, to choose how you respond rather than just reacting.
Flashbacks and intrusive thoughts become less frequent or less intense. When they do occur, you have tools to work with them. You're no longer at their mercy.
Relationships shift. You become more able to tolerate closeness without panic. You can set boundaries without collapsing into old trauma patterns. You start to trust yourself, others, the process of connection.
You reclaim parts of yourself that got lost or frozen in the trauma. Energy that was bound up in survival becomes available for living. You feel more present, more capable, more like the person you sense you could be.
The past doesn't disappear, but it stops controlling the present. You integrate what happened into your story without being defined by it. You become the author of your life again.
Questions to sit with
What would it feel like to move through the world without constantly scanning for danger?
If your body could finally complete the responses it started all those years ago, what might shift?
What parts of yourself are you ready to reclaim?
Common questions about trauma therapy
Will I have to retell the traumatic story in detail?
No. While narrative can be part of the work, somatic experiencing doesn't require you to recount every detail of what happened. In fact, staying too much in the story can be re-traumatizing. We work with sensations, body responses, and what's happening now which often allows healing without the need to relive the past explicitly.
What if I don't remember specific traumatic events?
That's completely normal, especially with developmental or complex trauma. We don't need detailed memories to work effectively. Your body remembers even when your mind doesn't, and we can work with the patterns and responses that are present now.
How long does trauma therapy take?
It varies widely depending on the nature and complexity of the trauma. Some people notice significant shifts within months. Others, particularly those with complex or developmental trauma, benefit from longer-term work. We go at the pace that's right for you never rushing, always respecting your system's timeline.
The past doesn't have to control your present
If you're ready to work with trauma in a way that honors your nervous system's wisdom and your own pace, let's talk. We'll start with a 50-minute consultation.